well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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