Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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