i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's official drugs can't kill me
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
