Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
