He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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