i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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