i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize