well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
