i just had sex bonerless
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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