im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize