i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
