Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
