I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
and you fell through a lawn chair
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
