WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
