so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
did you just send me my own nude
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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