i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
