He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
In the future we'll all be gay
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
