so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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