That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
