Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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