actually, I'm a sock model
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
