woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you would pick up someone in the library
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize