sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I look better un-naked...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
