Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
