rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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