If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
