Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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