Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
