If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize