I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
