So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize