there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
