We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
