names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
