I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
