Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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