So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize