BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
