Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
