69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
