Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
