either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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