I must be too annoying 4 u.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize