I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
