is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
