Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think I won the penis lottery.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
nutella sex= disaster
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
