that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
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