So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How does one acquire holy water?
Sorry about my life...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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