just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i came on her dog
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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