he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
