the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
