Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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