yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
