I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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