you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
