so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
