I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want to make a zoo with you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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