And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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