im about as happy as oj after his trial
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
