So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
