Got a toothbrush?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
