haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
