halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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