I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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