speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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