If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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