The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
