dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
