Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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