What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
