ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
