O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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