Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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