He uses pillows to masturbate.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
